Much to learn, young Tyler has. Much work left to do, there is

Sorry for the Yoda-esque title. I've been playing a lot of swordfighting on our new Wii Sports Resort game, and I'm feeling sort of Jedi.

I went to CFR tonight to take part in strength club. The competition team training, of which most of the strength club members are a part, has introduced some new stuff to the curriculum. Tonight was a lot of snatch work, followed by a mini metcon. ("Heavy Jackie": 1000m row, 30 push press with 125lb, 15 pull-ups; my time was 8:17, three seconds behind Harlan.)

I won't go into all the details, but tonight was a good reminder that I need to consistently practice Olympic lifting technique.

But my biggest CrossFit priority this year is getting stronger. How much stronger? I don't think it's out of the question for me to have a CrossFit total that's over 800. I'm at 705 now, and I think with some hard work, I should be able to put at least 50lbs on my deadlift, 30 on my back squat and 20 on my shoulder press.

I thought about going nuts with the milk, but I have a hard enough time staying lean as it is. I would like to go the Chris T. or BrianB route and have a low amount of body fat, but still be able to move a sufficient amount of heavy weight, have a pretty good metcon capacity and look decent with my shirt off (I realize that's vain; I'm so vain that I do think that Pat BenetarCarly Simon song is about me).

If I want to get better, I gotta get stronger. While it was fun to do the same workout as the competition team, I think I will stick with the regular strength club programming from this point forward.

Tyler falls for "Fran"

"Fran"

For time, 21-15-9 of:

95lb thrusters
Pull-ups

Sounds simple, right? And, as far as the amount of work being called for, it isn't that much, at least not on the CrossFit scale. I mean, there are motherfuckers in the world that can finish this in around two minutes.

But in our gym, and for untold thousands of CrossFitters elsewhere, there isn't a single other workout that evokes such strong emotions from so many people. (See my previous post.)

There aren't any other workouts that would pack a gym with spectators and people who are an hour removed from their scheduled workout time on a Thursday evening (Hell, 30 Rock is on tonight, people!). For cryin' out loud, Shae had a homemade "I love Fran" T-shirt.

I'll tell you one thing: I don't love Fran. Not one fucking bit. It had been more than half a year since I had last done this workout and in the days leading up to it, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't gonna be so bad. It's a total of 45 reps of each exercise... what's the big deal?

Well, it's a big deal because we make it a big deal. For a lot of CrossFitters, your Fran time says a lot about where you are in your CrossFit journey, and when you walk into a gym on Fran Day, you know there's something in the air that's a little more intense.

I felt it when I showed up at CFR tonight. A group of the firebreather CrossFit chicks (Robin, Kelly, AngDesj, Lexi, Julie, Mandy, Leya and Leah) were four minutes into Fran, and they looked like they had been put through hell. The place was noisy with people screaming encouragement, telling them to pick that weight back up, get their hands back on that pull-up bar, just a few left, c'mon, you can do this.

I love that shit, because it gets me psyched and a little scared about what I'm about to put myself through.

I had booked myself in at the 6pm class because I decided that I needed to have time to warm up properly and that I wanted to see how others had done on the workout during the day, which are a couple of luxuries that I don't get when I sign up for an early morning class and show up five minutes late.

I tried my best to warm up and I felt alright when it was time for the 6pm class to step up. We were divided up into guys and gals. The guys were going first and we were each assigned a counter. Poppy was mine.

3-2-1 GO!!

21 thrusters

I did all of these without putting the bar down. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to do that, but I did want to get through the first big set of thrusters as soon as possible and get on the pull-up bar. Kurt later said that I was going really fast, but I remember that I did have to pause a couple of times to breathe.

21 pull-ups

I jumped up to the 8-foot bar, because I'm usually reluctant to drop off it before my sets are done. I figured, for the first set of pull-ups, I could do them all unbroken. I did, but it was ugly. First of all, instead of a clean hook grip, some of the skin of my palm was trapped between the bar and my fingers, so my grip wasn't great and I was worried about tearing. At the start, I couldn't get a good rhythm on my kipping pull-ups happening, but I was able to correct it. However, I got so distracted doing that, I lost count of my reps. "What rep am I at?!" I asked Poppy, praying that she was still counting for me. "Ten," she replied. Good... she was still counting. Fuck... I thought I had done a few more than that. I did the last 11, though I had to will myself up for that last one. It's always the last one.

15 thrusters

I glanced over at the clock before picking up the weight. 1:44. Not bad. I thought two minutes would be a good time for Round 1. People are cheering me on because it looks like I'm going to end up with a pretty good time. I can sort of hear them and it really helps, but at the same time, I'm pretty focused and can't really hear much of anything. I pick up the barbell... What the fuck... the weight was a whole lot heavier this time. Did someone add 30 lbs while I was doing pull-ups? Fuckers. I went from doing 21 straight, to three sets of five, dropping the bar after each set.


15 pull-ups

No fucking around on the 8-foot bar this time. I headed straight to the 7-footer. The advantage here is that I don't have to jump for it, and I can touch my feet to the ground briefly after each pull-up, giving my hands and arms a quick but much-needed respite. I realize this makes me less of a man, and it's something I'm working on.

9 thrusters

I can fucking taste it now. Almost done. I think it's at this point that someone, probably Chris T or maybe Franz (both of whom were giving steady encouragement and coaching through the whole time and I've gotta thank them for that the next time I see them) tells me I'm four minutes in. I do the thrusters in two sets, maybe three, I'm not quite sure. I think it takes me around 30 seconds.

9 pull-ups

Sub-five minutes is within my chalky grasp as I get over to the pull-up bar. I can't get any rhythm on these fuckers but it doesn't matter. I can do sets of one. I'm not too proud. It's me and a race against the clock, which - stupidly - I have my back to. I'm getting updates on my time and people are shouting encouragement, practically willing me to get my chin over that bar. I've got to do nine pullups. One pull-up, two... I'm chugging through them... three, four... it's gonna be close, but I've got a real shot at beating five minutes, something I used to think was superhuman... five, six, seven... and it's taking everything I have... eight... I barely got over on that one, but I've only got one more...ni... and I lose my grip mid-kip and fall to the fucking ground.

Seriously. Can you believe this shit?

I think I landed mostly flat on my back and a little on my right elbow. I'm sure it looked ugly, and it didn't feel great, either.

Chris rushes over to check on me. I push him away. "I'm fine," I tell him. At that point, I wasn't entirely convinced that I actually was, but I had one pull-up left and the clock was still ticking. I get my chin over the bar in what was probably the ugliest pull-up ever and collapse on the ground.

Time was 5:06.

After an extended period in the post-WOD roadkill position, I determine that I am not injured, though I am completely exhausted and am probably gonna have a nice bruise on my upper right ass cheek and my right elbow is a little raw from scraping. So, don't worry, Mom. The fall was probably a result of fatigued forearms and hands and a mental lapse by me not ensuring I had a firm grip on the bar. I may have been using a more aggressive kip than normal to over-compensate for my arms, which were just spent.

I'm very happy with the time. Going in, I thought I could maybe get sub-6:00, and I did quite a bit better than that. I took 2:22 of my previous Fran time and came within a sniff of getting sub-5:00, which would have put me in some very elite company in the gym. As it is, I exceeded my own expectations, though I definitely see some room for improvement.

I still don't love Fran. But I do love CrossFit.

Here's a video of some CrossFit Chicks doing Fran last February. I figure all of them would have improved on their times this go around.

Franxiety

I've got to do "Fran" in less than five hours and my head is filled with nothing but questions:

-What time should I reasonably expect? I'm hoping to take a minute off my previous time of seven and a half minutes. Is that too optimistic? Too cautious? Chris T and Brian B were both sub 5 minutes... I'm not quite in their league but should I be shooting for sub-6? Maybe I should just stop thinking about times and go balls-out?

-I ate chili at lunch and some sugary treats in the morning. Is that gonna fuck me over?

-Since when do I pay that much fucking attention to what I eat?

-Why the fuck does Fran make me feel like this? Originally, when it was supposed to be last Friday, I started having Franxiety on Wednesday. I'd be in a meeting at work and my thoughts would drift to the upcoming Fran, and then I'd start getting all nervous and excited and twitchy. I mean, more than normal. What's the big deal? Hell, if I don't like my time, I can come in on a Sunday and do it again, right? Yeah, right, Tyler. Fran is not a big deal at all. Nosiree.

-When is this feeling going to end? Actually, I know the answer to that one: When this fucking thing is done.

Deadlifts and "Chipper From Helen"

Back at CrossFit after a week off. The week off wasn't really intended, but I slept in a couple of times and missed 6am WODs. Taking a rest week wasn't a bad thing, as it turns out, but I was glad to get back there tonight.

Did max deadlift singles. For me, it went like this:

285 lbs (PR)
300 lbs (PR)
305 lbs (PR)

I need to get stronger. I wish I could figure out a way to join strength club, but it's only open to unlimited members and evenings are pretty tough anyway.

The worst part about the deadlifts wasn't my inability to lift any more weight off the ground. It was the fact that we had to listen to that crap Miley Cyrus song, "Party in the USA" which is the last thing you want to hear when trying to pick heavy things off the ground. I rant further here.

Then it was time for "Chipper From Helen":

1200m run
63 55lb bell swings
36 pull-ups

The run went really good. I wasn't really sure how to pace myself, but I never got tired and finished it under 5:20.

Bell swings, I did 35-15-13.

Pull-ups, I would have liked to sting together a few more at the start but I only did 12-9-5-5-5.

Time was 10:22.

Better than I expected. Still have some work to go to match machines like Chris T, Nick, and Franz, who were all sub-10.

Painstorm: Olympic Bar Mile

This was requested by Pam, who wanted to do a Painstorm for her birthday. Crossfitters come up with crazy ideas like that.

It consists of:

Run 400m

Using a 45lb bar:
50 back squats
50 front squats
50 overhead squats

Run 400m. God, this sucked after all those squats. I actually had to rest after 200m.

Using a 45lb bar:
50 shoulder presses
50 push presses
50 push jerks

Run 400m. Took another rest at the 200m turnaround.

Using a 45lb bar:
50 hang cleans
50 hang snatches

Run 400m

My time was 30:33

I sprinted as fast as I could on the final 200m run, mostly in a desparate attempt to stay in front of D3 (he tends to pass me right at the end of workouts). I stuck my head in the gym to yell "Time!" then immediately ducked back out so I could vomit behind a dumpster.

I didn't actually throw up, but that was only because my stomach was empty. I did spend a few moments dry heaving, trying to do so quietly, to not disturb Leya, who was doing her reps a few steps away in the alley.

I guess my first meeting with imaginary CrossFit mascot Pukey the Clown will have to wait.


BrianB set a new gym record at just over 28 min. That dude is an animal. Christian and Chris T. were both under 29 min as well.

"Summer in the City"

"Summer in the City" Chipper:

For time:
Buy in of 500m row
20 Wall Ball
30 Burpees
40 Pull-ups
50 Bell Swings -55lb
60 Abmat Situps
70 Box Jumps - 20"
Buy out of 500m row

Time, as rx'd: 21:27. Spent most of the workout trying desperately to stay ahead of Chris T, which would normally be out of the question, but he did a workout called "Three Bars of Death" yesterday so he was pretty worn out from that.

Prediction: Franz will get sub 18 minutes on this one.

Oh, and I did another 75 wall balls, which totals 95 for the day. Since I did today's quota last night, I'm gonna say these are for Monday. Now I just have to do tomorrow's and Sunday's, and then I can coast on the 400 I have banked until Saturday.

Harlan plans on doing 1,000 WB today. 10 per minute for 100 minutes. He was going to start this morning, but slept in, so he's going in this afternoon. I sure hope someone takes pictures and, more importantly, is there to call 911.

Hero Workout "DT"

Hero workouts are named for fallen soldiers and are designed to be, as CFR trainer and UFC fan Paul says, "superhuman."

Five rounds for time of:

12 Deadlifts
9 Hang Power Cleans
6 Push Jerks



The prescribed ("rx'd" in CrossFit lingo) weight on this is 155lbs. The "intermediate" weight is 135lbs. I'm probably at the bottom end of the intermediate scale in most things CrossFit.

I'm sure glad we did the HPCs recently. When I first saw this, I was harbouring delusions of doing it as rx'd. HAH! I've only done one 155lb HPC in my life, so 45 in one workout might be a bit much.

Then I thought I'd do 135, but Paul psyched me out by saying that another trainer Chris T. did it at that weight and it was really tough on him.

Chris = much stronger than I and with better technique.

I warmed up with 95lbs, and it felt fairly heavy on the HPCs, but I knew I could do more. I was originally set to go with 115lbs, but at the last second, I threw a couple of 5lb plates on the bar to get it up to 125.

That was probably a good weight. I may even have been able to do the WOD at 135, but it would have doubled my time, and I had to do some f**king wall balls. As it was, I was still the last person finished. Toward the end, I was doing it more efficiently than at the start. I would do 11 deadlifts, set it down, do one deadlift and 8 of my HPCs, set it down, HPC it, then do the push jerks.

16:59.

151 wall ball (today's and tomorrow's) doing 10 per minute. Harlan and Mark just did that instead of the workout, and they caught up. I think Harlan did 900 WB in two days that way. The guy is a monster.