Tyler falls for "Fran"

"Fran"

For time, 21-15-9 of:

95lb thrusters
Pull-ups

Sounds simple, right? And, as far as the amount of work being called for, it isn't that much, at least not on the CrossFit scale. I mean, there are motherfuckers in the world that can finish this in around two minutes.

But in our gym, and for untold thousands of CrossFitters elsewhere, there isn't a single other workout that evokes such strong emotions from so many people. (See my previous post.)

There aren't any other workouts that would pack a gym with spectators and people who are an hour removed from their scheduled workout time on a Thursday evening (Hell, 30 Rock is on tonight, people!). For cryin' out loud, Shae had a homemade "I love Fran" T-shirt.

I'll tell you one thing: I don't love Fran. Not one fucking bit. It had been more than half a year since I had last done this workout and in the days leading up to it, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't gonna be so bad. It's a total of 45 reps of each exercise... what's the big deal?

Well, it's a big deal because we make it a big deal. For a lot of CrossFitters, your Fran time says a lot about where you are in your CrossFit journey, and when you walk into a gym on Fran Day, you know there's something in the air that's a little more intense.

I felt it when I showed up at CFR tonight. A group of the firebreather CrossFit chicks (Robin, Kelly, AngDesj, Lexi, Julie, Mandy, Leya and Leah) were four minutes into Fran, and they looked like they had been put through hell. The place was noisy with people screaming encouragement, telling them to pick that weight back up, get their hands back on that pull-up bar, just a few left, c'mon, you can do this.

I love that shit, because it gets me psyched and a little scared about what I'm about to put myself through.

I had booked myself in at the 6pm class because I decided that I needed to have time to warm up properly and that I wanted to see how others had done on the workout during the day, which are a couple of luxuries that I don't get when I sign up for an early morning class and show up five minutes late.

I tried my best to warm up and I felt alright when it was time for the 6pm class to step up. We were divided up into guys and gals. The guys were going first and we were each assigned a counter. Poppy was mine.

3-2-1 GO!!

21 thrusters

I did all of these without putting the bar down. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to do that, but I did want to get through the first big set of thrusters as soon as possible and get on the pull-up bar. Kurt later said that I was going really fast, but I remember that I did have to pause a couple of times to breathe.

21 pull-ups

I jumped up to the 8-foot bar, because I'm usually reluctant to drop off it before my sets are done. I figured, for the first set of pull-ups, I could do them all unbroken. I did, but it was ugly. First of all, instead of a clean hook grip, some of the skin of my palm was trapped between the bar and my fingers, so my grip wasn't great and I was worried about tearing. At the start, I couldn't get a good rhythm on my kipping pull-ups happening, but I was able to correct it. However, I got so distracted doing that, I lost count of my reps. "What rep am I at?!" I asked Poppy, praying that she was still counting for me. "Ten," she replied. Good... she was still counting. Fuck... I thought I had done a few more than that. I did the last 11, though I had to will myself up for that last one. It's always the last one.

15 thrusters

I glanced over at the clock before picking up the weight. 1:44. Not bad. I thought two minutes would be a good time for Round 1. People are cheering me on because it looks like I'm going to end up with a pretty good time. I can sort of hear them and it really helps, but at the same time, I'm pretty focused and can't really hear much of anything. I pick up the barbell... What the fuck... the weight was a whole lot heavier this time. Did someone add 30 lbs while I was doing pull-ups? Fuckers. I went from doing 21 straight, to three sets of five, dropping the bar after each set.


15 pull-ups

No fucking around on the 8-foot bar this time. I headed straight to the 7-footer. The advantage here is that I don't have to jump for it, and I can touch my feet to the ground briefly after each pull-up, giving my hands and arms a quick but much-needed respite. I realize this makes me less of a man, and it's something I'm working on.

9 thrusters

I can fucking taste it now. Almost done. I think it's at this point that someone, probably Chris T or maybe Franz (both of whom were giving steady encouragement and coaching through the whole time and I've gotta thank them for that the next time I see them) tells me I'm four minutes in. I do the thrusters in two sets, maybe three, I'm not quite sure. I think it takes me around 30 seconds.

9 pull-ups

Sub-five minutes is within my chalky grasp as I get over to the pull-up bar. I can't get any rhythm on these fuckers but it doesn't matter. I can do sets of one. I'm not too proud. It's me and a race against the clock, which - stupidly - I have my back to. I'm getting updates on my time and people are shouting encouragement, practically willing me to get my chin over that bar. I've got to do nine pullups. One pull-up, two... I'm chugging through them... three, four... it's gonna be close, but I've got a real shot at beating five minutes, something I used to think was superhuman... five, six, seven... and it's taking everything I have... eight... I barely got over on that one, but I've only got one more...ni... and I lose my grip mid-kip and fall to the fucking ground.

Seriously. Can you believe this shit?

I think I landed mostly flat on my back and a little on my right elbow. I'm sure it looked ugly, and it didn't feel great, either.

Chris rushes over to check on me. I push him away. "I'm fine," I tell him. At that point, I wasn't entirely convinced that I actually was, but I had one pull-up left and the clock was still ticking. I get my chin over the bar in what was probably the ugliest pull-up ever and collapse on the ground.

Time was 5:06.

After an extended period in the post-WOD roadkill position, I determine that I am not injured, though I am completely exhausted and am probably gonna have a nice bruise on my upper right ass cheek and my right elbow is a little raw from scraping. So, don't worry, Mom. The fall was probably a result of fatigued forearms and hands and a mental lapse by me not ensuring I had a firm grip on the bar. I may have been using a more aggressive kip than normal to over-compensate for my arms, which were just spent.

I'm very happy with the time. Going in, I thought I could maybe get sub-6:00, and I did quite a bit better than that. I took 2:22 of my previous Fran time and came within a sniff of getting sub-5:00, which would have put me in some very elite company in the gym. As it is, I exceeded my own expectations, though I definitely see some room for improvement.

I still don't love Fran. But I do love CrossFit.

Here's a video of some CrossFit Chicks doing Fran last February. I figure all of them would have improved on their times this go around.