Edmonton

So we went to Edmonton on this family trip.  We fly in and cab it to the hotel at the West Edmonton Mall.

I had found a CrossFit about 4km away from the mall, so I was pretty psyched

I plan to go there, but then stuff happens and it's our last day in Edmonton, so I've got one last chance.  I have to hit a morning class.  No problem.  I wake up early, hail a cab, and get there at 6:40am. 

Closed.  The affiliate has morning classes, but just not on Tuesdays. 

So I decide to make the best of it and run back to the Mall.  I do sprints, running as hard as a can for the distance of two lengths between streetlights, then walking for two lengths. 

At the hotel, I'm told that there's a Gold's Gym that we can use for free. 

I wander over there, but don't really know what to do with myself.  I try some back squats in a squat cage.  It seems weird to me. 

I do some deadhang pull-ups. 

I row on a poorly maintained C2 rower, as an old lady beside me watches Treehouse on the TV built into the elliptical. 

I cool off by shooting some hoops in a raquetball court. 

Shoulder Press / Back Squats / Sled Drags that didn't suck

A. Max Shoulder Press (one-rep)

115-135-145(PR)-150 (PR)-155(F)

The 150 was a bit of a fight, but I got it up.  I could barely move the 155, though.  Funny how that works.



B. Max Back Squat (one-rep)

I'm still wary of my back, so when I was thinking about squats earlier in the day I thought I might stop at about 250 or so. 

I can't remember my exact progression, but I ended up at:

245-275-305

275 felt pretty good, so I was fairly confident with the 305, which is five pounds shy of my max.  I did ask for spotters, though. 



C. Partner sled drags 80m repeats


The deal here is that partners go back and forth on 40m sprints, dragging a 115m sled for ten minutes. 

I liked this a lot, actually.  I was able to go pretty hard for each of the 8 sprints I did, knowing that it would be over soon and I could stop.  My partner Jamieson apologized for not going faster, but I was happy to have a bit more of a breather. 

Oly Total / Petranek Fitness Test

A. Oly Total

Max one-rep snatch + max one-rep clean and jerk.

It's been a while since I went heavy on the snatch.  (Tee-hee)

As I warmed up, 135 felt pretty good.  155 didn't feel too bad, but 160 just wasn't happening today. 

Snatch: 155

On the clean and jerks, 205 felt like a real struggle.  I failed to clean 215 on my first attempt.  I got the clean on the second, but didn't even come close on the jerk. 

Clean and Jerk: 205

Oly Total: 360


B. Petranek Fitness Test

500m row
40 squats
30 sit-ups
20 push-ups
10 pull-ups

I didn't know what my previous best on this was.  I knew it was probably 4:00 and change and I was sure that I wasn't getting any PRs today.  I finished the row in about 1:40, which is not bad, but then my legs protested loudly and repeatedly as I was doing the squats.  I ended up having to take breaks (SO MANY BREAKS).  

I felt like I was sluggish on the sit-ups.  Push-ups were done in sets of 12, 5 and 3.  I didn't pause too long on the breaks, but still, they were breaks. 

I did the ten pull-ups unbroken, but there was a lot of flailing and extra motion in my attempt to do this quickly.

Finished at 4:16.  Turns out that is a PR over my previous best of 4:23.

Partner Grace & Helen / Parner Rhiannon

A. “Grace and Helen back to back…”


For time:
30 Clean & Jerks (135/95)

then:

3 rounds:
400m Run
21 Bell Swings (55/35)
12 Pullups

Only one partner can work at a time; all work is split. Partners do not have to run together, but no other work can be performed until the last partner enters the building.

I partnered with Nathan. 

For the 30 clean and jerks, I believe I did 13 of them and he did 17, so when we transitioned to Helen, I wanted to give him a bit of a break, so I did 15 of the KB swings in the first round and all of the PLU

Then I was bagged for the second round, so he did 15 of  the swings and half the PLU. 

For the final round, I did maybe 12 (?) of the swings and 7 PLU. 

We finished in 11:37


B. Partner Rhiannon

For shits and giggles afterward, we did 10 minutes of double unders. 

We ended up with over 600... I think 640-something.  Nathan did more of the work on this one, I think. 

Dread the sled

A. Front squats 3-3-3-3

185-195-205-215



B. Sled Drag Suicides

115lbs on the sled. Three rounds of:
Run to the 10m line and back
Run to the 20m line and back
Run to the 30m line and back

Each round is timed individually. 

Sled drags are always horrible for me.  It's deceptive, though.  On paper, they don't seem so bad.  In fact, I always tell myself I'm going to do a bit extra.  Then I do one and I revise my plans.

They start off okay, and I feel like I'm moving pretty quick to the 10m and back.  On the 20m, I'm still hustling, but my legs are starting to mobilize a protest.  By the the 30m turnaround,, I'm fighting for every step.   After the first round, I really didn't want to do it again.  When I stepped up to the line, I felt this faint sensation of fear mixed with nausea.

I wasn't particularly fast with these, but I was very consistent. Other people had huge time disparities between their first run and subsequent ones. 

Round 1 - 1:10
Round 2 - 1:13
Round 3-  1:12

Muscle-Ups / Tabata Awfulness

A. Muscle-Up Practice

We were supposed to do 5-4-3-2-1 MUs, but c'mon, let's be serious for a second. 

I did however do 3 single muscle-ups.  This brings my lifetime total to 6.

There were no failures and not a lot of warming up for me, either.  I did a jumping MU during warm-up, then listened to Keenan's instructions and did a bit of visualizing. 

Then I did one. 

Later, I did a second one.  After that, a third. 

I'm still not getting very high, on them and I'm having to really force my way up on my right side.  Because it's kind of awkward and I'm forcing it, I opted against attempting anymore rather than doing something that would end up with me injured. 

Something to work on.  But I'm happy with the progress. 

 


B. “3/4 Tabata This”


4 minutes of Tabata Air Squats
1 minute Rest
4 minutes of Tabata Push-ups
1 minute Rest
4 mintues of Tabata Abmat Situps

Each 4 minutes is 8 rounds of 20 seconds of work / 10 seconds of rest.  Complete 4 minutes of one movement before moving on to the next.

Score is total reps.   I screwed up on the math in the chart below.  I actually got 140 squats, not 123.  61 push-ups is correct.  Pathetic, but correct.  97 sit-ups is also correct.    

Total score is 298.    

 
Nothing really unexpected here.  I think.   

After eight rounds of push-ups, I'm averaging about 7.5 sit-ups per round. I wonder if on, I should try to do 9 per round and rest the rest of the time, rather than going almost to failure?  If I got that, it would allow me to hit 72, which is higher.  Going from a high of 19 to a low of four is bad.  Just bad. 

"A Short Four Minutes"

3 rounds of:

800m Run
15 Burpees
30 KB Swings 70lb KB

Rest 4 minutes between rounds

Rx'd for this WOD was using a 55lb KB, but the ACT kids were using 70lb so I did too. 

(Geez, Tyler, speak in code much, do ya?)

My second round was more than a minute slower than my first. My run took about 35 seconds longer, and I rested more during the bell swings.  I had less of a drop-off for Round 3. 

Round 1: 5:54

Round 2: 6:58

Round 2: 7:02

A Bucketful of Fail

Made it to another 6 a.m. class. 

A.Snatch Complex

Snatch push press + OHS + snatch balance, x2(reps) x3(sets), 65-75% of Snatch

I used 115, which falls nicely between 65 and 75 per cent of my max snatch of 165.   But it was probably too much for me to use today. 

First set - made it through until the snatch balance on the second rep. 

Second set - I think I dropped it on the overhead squat in the first rep. 

Third set - Completed

Fourth set - made it through until the snatch balance on the second rep. 

A bucketful of fail. 

I was a little pissed off about this right after it happened. Then I had to move on to the other parts of the WOD, so I didn't really think about it again until I was home in the shower.  I started to get mad again. 

Then I gave my head a shake and remembered that if I don't fail every now and then, then I'm probably not pushing myself as hard as I should.  It's actually probably a good thing that I failed. 

Hey you can just call me Little Johnny Brightside.

 

B. Weighted pull up 2-2-2-2

25-35-45-57.5(FAIL)

I was trying to break the 55lb PR I set recently.  I didn't have a lot of confidence, though, as 45 was a struggle.  I got one rep at 57.5, if you're feeling generous.  

C. “If Annie and Karen were sisters…”

AMRAP in 20mins:

30 Double-Unders

20 Situps

10 Wall Ball 20/14lb

  Not a lot of surprises on this one.  Because the reps in each exercise were pretty reasonable, there wasn't a lot of excessive resting.     

My DUs were fairly good.  I think there were only a couple of the rounds where I didn't do 30 straight, which is better than I would have expected.   

Sit-ups got tough.  Once that happened, I broke sets up into three-ish.   

Wall balls were done in sets of 10.   

Thanks to a strong push in the last round, I was able to finish my 10th round and get another five DUs in before the clock stopped. 

10 rounds plus five double unders 

  .

Back Squats / KB Cleans and Sled Drags

A. Back Squats

Back Squats 5-5-5 start at 75% and increase


- Nope.  I went light, trying to avoid re-aggravating my back.  My last set was 185. 


Back squats @ 60% of 1 RM 3×10. Rest 90-120s between each set.

- Close.  I did this with 165.  The first ten were hard.  The last ten were much better, and I did them without much of a rest.   



B. “What a Drag”

Every 3min complete: (for 3 rounds)

5 KB cleans left (70/55)

5 KB cleans right

80m sled drag (95/65)

Complete each round under 90sec

The KB cleans, especially with the 70lb KB, were not fun, but at least they were over quickly
Approximate time it took me to complete the work in each of the three rounds:   Round 1 - 75 secs. When I transitioned to the sled drags, I wasted a couple of seconds trying to bring the straps over my shoulders.  Another guy (Eldon?) just held the straps and let his arms trail behind him and he was off to the races.  I copied him.  I fell like I started off slow but picked it up at the end.   Round 2 - 70 secs. Was more efficient in my transition to the sled drags.  I didn't waste time messing with the straps.  Ran hard enough to hate life at the end.   Round 3 - 80 secs.  Thought I'd try the straps over the shoulder again.  Stupid.  Just ended up wasting time and then ended up holding the straps like I did in the first two rounds.  Plus, I was tired.  I'm actually surprised that this time wasn't slower.   

Leya is Awesome (a.k.a. One of those posts in which I eventually link to a blog containing advice that I, upon reading, think is pretty good)

Do you remember that episode of the Simpsons when Homer bought a truck with a snowplow on the front? He became "Mr. Plow" and he started experiencing some success for the first time in his life.

Then, his alcoholic friend Barney became inspired by Homer's example.  Barney bought a bigger truck, dubbed himself "The Plow King," and put Homer out of business with the help of a TV ad featuring a catchy jingle sung by Linda Ronstandt.

While it's been years since I've seen the "Mr. Plow" episode, so I don't know if it's overtly explained, I always figured it was extra painful to Homer to see himself surpassed by a guy on whom he had a head start.  I mean, Homer is portrayed as a loser on "The Simpsons," but compared to pre-Plow King Barney, he was doing alright.  Homer was gainfully employed, a homeowner, and married to a woman who is clearly out of his league.  Barney seemingly lived on a barstool and couldn't utter a sentence without belching.

While the situations aren't exactly parallel, for some reason that episode sprang to mind as I was thinking about the respective CrossFit journeys of Leya and me. Minus the Homer resentment from me.  And the Barney-belching from her.

Here's the part where I explain why I'm not insulting her when I'm comparing her to Barney fucking Gumbel. 

Yeah, I started out kind of fat with a number of unhealthy habits.  Thanks to CrossFit, I lost some weight, gained a significant bit of fitness, learned a thing or two about better eating habits and generally changed my life for the better.  All in all, I do this CrossFit thing pretty good. 

But, if you compare CrossFit apples to apples, Leya kicks my ass.  In a few short years, she's transformed herself into a fucking ninja.  She not only does CrossFit but she actually coaches this stuff, and does so in a way that is intelligent and entertaining.  She went to California to compete as part of CFR's affiliate team. The only way I'm going to California is if my kids convince me that they deserve to go to Disneyland.

Leya also -- on a daily basis -- kicks the ass of a mysterious movement disorder she suffers from called dystonia. She apparently does this through healthy living and sheer force of will.

In addition to that, she's a self-schooled nutrition guru, which is incredible when you consider how unhealthy she was earlier in life.  I forget the exact stat she used to use, but there was one month in her life when she ordered takeout pizza 20+ times.  (I realize she used that as an example of how terrible her diet was but goddamn that still sounds kind of awesome to me).

Meanwhile, I eat 7-11 nachos on a weekly basis and am the top patron of every candy dish within a 100m walk from my desk.  Sure, I posted the "World Class Fitness in 100 Words" on my blog's sidebar.  (One day, I'm going to get around to writing a blogpost analyzing how much of that I actually live by.  Fearless prediction: I will not fare terribly well.)

Also somewhat pertinent to the point that I'm eventually going to make with this post: Leya and I both work in communications.  Although we don't work in the same office, I suspect she's better at that too because of her obsessive attention to detail and because I enjoy reading everything she writes even when it's about stuff I'm not all that interested in.  Kale, for example.  Fuck kale.

Okay here's the point of this: Leya just wrote a very good thing on her blog Dechubbing (even her blog's name is better than mine) about how to eat well without becoming a calorie-counting lunatic.  It was targeted at people who suffer from polycystic ovary syndrome but these are guidelines that are useful to anyone.

Here's an excerpt:

  1. Eat protein every time you eat. Preferably something that once had eyes and a soul or came from something that had eyes and a soul.


2. Eat vegetables every time you eat. Mmm vegetables. Corn, iceburg lettuce and peas are not veggies.

3. Eat starchy carbs. Root vegetables are preferable because they're packed with nutrients that are nicely bioavailable for you. But, eat them when your body needs them. And that's usually after you've worked out.

4. Eat when you are hungry. Hungry is not bored. Hungry is not sad. Hungry is hungry. And if you're hungry, eat!

You should read the rest of the post, which can be found here:  http://dechubbing.blogspot.ca/2013/07/one-of-those-posts-where-i-post-advice.html.

Clean & Jerk / Run & Burp



Warming up with the Boy



A. Clean + Jerk 3-2-1-1-1

3×145, 2×165, 1×185, 1×205, 1×220 (PR)




B. Run + Burpee

Every 2 min for 5 rounds complete:

100m sprint

5 speed burpees

Record each round time. Use a continuous clock and start every 2nd min.


30s, 30s, 29s, 28s, 30s
        Photo courtesy of Drew Fossum.

Fight Gone Worse

“Hope for Cures”

3 rounds:

Burpees

Power Snatch (75/55)

Box Jump (24/20″)

Thruster (75/55)

Chest to Bar Pullups

Same format as Fight Gone Bad.  Five-minute rounds with one minute at each station.  One minute rest between each round.  Your score is your total number of reps.

I was a little pissed off about something before I got to the gym on Saturday. I figured I could use that as motivation to get through the sucky parts of this, because any FGB-style WOD is going to be tough.

Well, I’m not sure if the anger-as-fuel strategy worked. Holy crap, this was terrible. I was terrible.

I had a pretty good pace in the first round, but I was incapable of sustaining it. I went from a score of 90 in the first round, to 59 in the second and 50 in the third. Some drop-off is inevitable, but that’s pretty terrible.

It’s also possible that I wouldn’t have gotten much more than that in the second and third round anyway, so maybe scoring big in the first round was the right way to go.

Yeah… probably not.

Total score: 199

Front Squat Fives / T2B & KB PP AMRAP

A. Front Squats 5-5-5-5

135-165-195-205

205 seemed plenty heavy too me. I wasn't going to push my back too much, and I always think that I'm capable of front squatting more than I actually am. 

I'm in no way sure about anything I did other than the 205

B. AMRAP - 10 minutes

As many rounds as possible of:

10 kettlebell push-press (left arm) - 35lb
10 kettlebell push press (right arm) - 35lb
10 toes-to-bar

I did seven rounds and one push press

At the start, using the kipping technique Aimee showed me, I was finally able to string together 10 T2B for a couple of rounds, and groups of 4-5 in subsequent rounds.  It made a real difference in time.  However, it hurts the hell out of my hands and I eventually had to go back to my one-at-a-time method. 


Hey, speaking of Aimee, she had a hand in decorating the washrooms at CFR, which have been spruced up a bit with some new paint and a couple of new decor touches.  It's very nice.

One of the decor items is a large sign with a series of tips that seem to be telling couples how they can be in a loving and fullfilling relationship.  

But I noticed something kind of funny about it.  See if you can spot it. 

Scroll down if you want to see what I noticed. 



...




...




...







"Stay in bed all day."  Hey, I like the sound of that!  What comes next?

"Create memories you will tell your grandchildren about."  Whaaa....?

How other people see CrossFit, Vol 1

When I describe CrossFit to people who don't know what it is, I usually start out with "It's sort of like a fitness cult." 

While I'm an unabashed CrossFit enthusiast (changed my life, made me a better man, yada yada yada...) like any kind of cult, religion, lifestyle or hobby, there are definitely some aspects that can seem goofy, ridiculous or absurd to the non-believers.  Seeing those people try to describe their encounters with CrossFit can be amusing.

I see examples of this quite a bit.  It seems like a shame that I see them once and then forget about them, and I don't share them with the four people who occasionally read this blog.

So this is the start of a new feature:

How other people see CrossFit

Today's example comes from Hamilton Nolan, a writer for the Gawker and Deadspin websites.  He's the author of "I of the Tiger," an occasional column about fitness and how you're doing it wrong (not you, Leya... you're swell).   From the numerous fitness-related pieces I've read by Mr. Nolan, I'd say he seems to know what he's talking about.  He does believe in the squat.  I mean, he really believes in the squat.  

A while back, Mr. Nolan even wrote this piece that explores, from his perspective, the good and bad of CrossFit, which got some attention among CrossFitters and even attracted a hilarious retort from an active NFL player.  The comment alone makes the article worth the read.  (For the record, I agree with all of the good aspects Nolan identifies, and the stuff he doesn't like about CrossFit that I do like can be chalked up to personal preferences or differences of degree, e.g. I like working out in groups; he doesn't.)
Basically, Nolan sees merit in CrossFit, but isn't afraid to point out the goofy shit about it, too. 

Recently, he authored a terrific piece called "Health is Bad for You: My Weird Weekend at Toronto's Fitness Shitshow"    and that viewpoint comes through loud and clear. 

First, some context.

The Toronto Pro SuperShow is one of North America's biggest fitness extravaganzas: a three-day collection of competitions in bodybuilding, powerlifting, arm wrestling, strongman, Crossfit, boxing, pro wrestling, and just about any other activity that might require you to wear a tank top, all mixed inside a convention center alongside an "Expo" of all the world's workout supplement companies hawking their wares. It is where members of every zealous fitness subculture, from rippling steroid monsters to gaunt competitive jump-ropers, come together in uneasy proximity for one single strange weekend. It is a flourishing zoo, with the human body as every exhibit.

Again, I encourage you to read the whole thing, but I'm going to quote what he  has to say about CrossFit, which actually gets off pretty easy compared to, say, bodybuilding.  (And rightfully so.)

It took only a glance to determine who was who. The powerlifters all wear Chuck Taylors. The Olympic lifters have the straps of spandex singlets hanging down under their shirts. The Crossfitters all wear T-shirts emblazoned with the name of their "box," and they smile with the dead-eyed intensity of Scientologists. The boxers have poorly drawn boxing gloves tattooed somewhere close to their necks. The bodybuilders have shirt collars and sleeves stained by excess spray tan, like the red dust one might accumulate while rock climbing in the desert.

Yeah.  I have met a number of CrossFitters who do have a vaguely Tom Cruise-ish way about them. 

There's more.  Much more. 

Crossfit is good, clean fun that makes your skin crawl. All the Crossfit teams looked like Abercrombie & Fitch retail staffers on their days off. Crossfit is the office bowling league of a generation far too good for bowling leagues. Crossfitters tend to have the bright smiles, boundless energy, and barely concealed smugness often associated with adherents of slightly denigrated religions, like Mormons or Heaven's Gate UFO doomsday preppers.

CrossFitters do spend a lot of time talking about how our CrossFitness will uniquely prepare us for the zombie apocalypse, which is ridiculous. 

I mean, the far more realistic apocalypse scenario is the technological apocalypse in which computers become sentient, declare war on humans, trigger a nuclear war to kill most of the human race, and develop near-indestructible robot terminators to hunt the remaining human survivors.

It's so bloody obvious. 

Anyway, back to Nolan's article. 

Sometimes they don't do a great job concealing the smugness. One girl sported a T-shirt reading, "Crossfit is like a fine art. Critiqued by many. But understood by few."


Haha, yes, well. How special.

Okay.  I will admit that I have spent good money on a T-shirt from CrossFit affiliates I've visited, only to have second thoughts about putting on the shirt because of my fear that the slogan on it will make me seem like a pretentious douchebag. 

Don't get me wrong... I always put on the shirt.  But there is usually that brief internal debate.

Crossfitters are impeccably fit, generally affluent and attractive, and, I think, worthy of scorn, because that they revel in overthrowing the yin-and-yang that allows society to tolerate fit people. Bodybuilders look great, but their lifestyle is freakish; weightlifters are strong, but often look like dumpsters; athletic people in general may be able to beat you up, but you can take private satisfaction in the knowledge that they're dumb. It's a matter of hydraulics. Every benefit must come with an equivalent fault, or the social fabric will rupture. Crossfit, though, aims to take educated, attractive, popular, upwardly mobile, fashion-forward people, and also make them super-fit, so that there is no area in which the average person may measure up.

Mr. Nolan, if it makes you feel better, I'm not really that upwardly mobile or fashion-forward.  I am reasonably educated, decently popular and incredibly attractive.

(I'm kidding, of course. My ego is not that out of control. The truth is I'm only somewhat popular.) 

(I do not recommend working out in a group, and I certainly don't recommend working out in a group of super-fit type-A overachievers. Bad for one's self-esteem.) Indeed, Crossfitters would doubtless be poised to take over the world if not for their collective sense of persecution and tendency to trumpet their hobby to the world by draping themselves in branded apparel, up to and including the T-shirt I saw on one guy in Toronto that had been painstakingly folded so that only the "WODKilla" slogan showed and then wrapped into a bandanna that matched a pair of neon yellow sneakers.

I haven't encountered that many CrossFitters with a sense of persecution, but most are big fans of branded apparel. 

I can safely say that I will never wear anything with "WODKilla" on it.  That would be blatant false advertising.  I might go for something that said "WODTrya"

Doing burpees does not constitute an identity. Take up jazz, or something.

NO.  Jazz is the worst.  Unless it's being delivered by one Ron Burgundy. 

Okay, after that pleasing musical interlude, let's see what else Mr. Nolan had to say:

And for the entire weekend, everything hummed on at once under the featureless roof of the convention center. The powerlifters tottered out stiff-legged in their knee wraps and bent under a squat bar; the Olympic lifters brushed their hands with chalk and adjusted their singlets; the Crossfitters swung from pull-up bars like flopping fish and slapped high-fives...

That totally reminds me, I need to work on my butterfly kip. 

"O Canada 2013"

In teams of 3, with only one athlete working at a time,

Perform the following for time:

146 Jumping Squats

146 Kettlebell Swings – 55/35lb

146 Abmat Situps

146 Hand-Release Push-ups

146 Double-Unders

I teamed with Carter and Victor.  The Boy hopped in on this one, too, doing work and resting at the same time as me. 

For the first three exercises, we did sets of 15.  On the push-ups, we switched to 10s after the initial set of 15. 

For double unders, we just did what we could.  I did sets of 50 and 30. 

We finished in 15:55. 

 

Overheard at the Gym

"Dad, when are we gonna take off our shirts?"

(later)
"How come no one has taken off their shirt yet?"