Leya is Awesome (a.k.a. One of those posts in which I eventually link to a blog containing advice that I, upon reading, think is pretty good)

Do you remember that episode of the Simpsons when Homer bought a truck with a snowplow on the front? He became "Mr. Plow" and he started experiencing some success for the first time in his life.

Then, his alcoholic friend Barney became inspired by Homer's example.  Barney bought a bigger truck, dubbed himself "The Plow King," and put Homer out of business with the help of a TV ad featuring a catchy jingle sung by Linda Ronstandt.

While it's been years since I've seen the "Mr. Plow" episode, so I don't know if it's overtly explained, I always figured it was extra painful to Homer to see himself surpassed by a guy on whom he had a head start.  I mean, Homer is portrayed as a loser on "The Simpsons," but compared to pre-Plow King Barney, he was doing alright.  Homer was gainfully employed, a homeowner, and married to a woman who is clearly out of his league.  Barney seemingly lived on a barstool and couldn't utter a sentence without belching.

While the situations aren't exactly parallel, for some reason that episode sprang to mind as I was thinking about the respective CrossFit journeys of Leya and me. Minus the Homer resentment from me.  And the Barney-belching from her.

Here's the part where I explain why I'm not insulting her when I'm comparing her to Barney fucking Gumbel. 

Yeah, I started out kind of fat with a number of unhealthy habits.  Thanks to CrossFit, I lost some weight, gained a significant bit of fitness, learned a thing or two about better eating habits and generally changed my life for the better.  All in all, I do this CrossFit thing pretty good. 

But, if you compare CrossFit apples to apples, Leya kicks my ass.  In a few short years, she's transformed herself into a fucking ninja.  She not only does CrossFit but she actually coaches this stuff, and does so in a way that is intelligent and entertaining.  She went to California to compete as part of CFR's affiliate team. The only way I'm going to California is if my kids convince me that they deserve to go to Disneyland.

Leya also -- on a daily basis -- kicks the ass of a mysterious movement disorder she suffers from called dystonia. She apparently does this through healthy living and sheer force of will.

In addition to that, she's a self-schooled nutrition guru, which is incredible when you consider how unhealthy she was earlier in life.  I forget the exact stat she used to use, but there was one month in her life when she ordered takeout pizza 20+ times.  (I realize she used that as an example of how terrible her diet was but goddamn that still sounds kind of awesome to me).

Meanwhile, I eat 7-11 nachos on a weekly basis and am the top patron of every candy dish within a 100m walk from my desk.  Sure, I posted the "World Class Fitness in 100 Words" on my blog's sidebar.  (One day, I'm going to get around to writing a blogpost analyzing how much of that I actually live by.  Fearless prediction: I will not fare terribly well.)

Also somewhat pertinent to the point that I'm eventually going to make with this post: Leya and I both work in communications.  Although we don't work in the same office, I suspect she's better at that too because of her obsessive attention to detail and because I enjoy reading everything she writes even when it's about stuff I'm not all that interested in.  Kale, for example.  Fuck kale.

Okay here's the point of this: Leya just wrote a very good thing on her blog Dechubbing (even her blog's name is better than mine) about how to eat well without becoming a calorie-counting lunatic.  It was targeted at people who suffer from polycystic ovary syndrome but these are guidelines that are useful to anyone.

Here's an excerpt:

  1. Eat protein every time you eat. Preferably something that once had eyes and a soul or came from something that had eyes and a soul.


2. Eat vegetables every time you eat. Mmm vegetables. Corn, iceburg lettuce and peas are not veggies.

3. Eat starchy carbs. Root vegetables are preferable because they're packed with nutrients that are nicely bioavailable for you. But, eat them when your body needs them. And that's usually after you've worked out.

4. Eat when you are hungry. Hungry is not bored. Hungry is not sad. Hungry is hungry. And if you're hungry, eat!

You should read the rest of the post, which can be found here:  http://dechubbing.blogspot.ca/2013/07/one-of-those-posts-where-i-post-advice.html.