Sissy Hands: Moo-Cow Fuckmilk

Why this blog?

This is basically a workout journal that I use to keep track of my workout results. I started Sissy Hands in 2009, a few months after I started going to CrossFit Regina. I find this is better organized and more convenient (for me, anyway) than a notebook. I'm under no illusion that this blog would be interesting to anyone else, except perhaps for the people I work out with.

These days, I work out when I can at B Squad Fitness , the Regina Boxing Club and OPEX Regina. I regularly do workouts with my buddy Nick in my basement or one of our garages. When motivation strikes, I also exercise on my own as a weird grunting loner.

I'm not an elite athlete or a certified fitness professional. I'm just a dude who learned that exercise had a place in my life, and then became less fat and weak than I was. However, I still binge on crappy food and skip workouts more than I should. Yes, I really do eat 7-11 nachos on a semi-regular basis.

If you came to this blog because you're a spambot, please achieve sentience and then die painfully. At the very least, don't leave a comment on my posts.

To see me write about stuff other than burpees and pull-ups, you'll have to follow me on Twitter

Oh, and I still lay claim to the title of...

Benchmarks

Annie: 8:04, (Feb. 24, 2012) Previous was 8:53 Angie: 22:25 (Nov. 18, 2009) Barbara: 3:39, 5:20, 5:54, 5:32, 5:28 = Total work time of 25:45 (Dec. 22, 2009). Previous was 26:44 total work time on Sept. 9, 2009 Christine: 13:40 w/185lbs (Aug 1, 2012) Cindy: 17 rounds plus 5 PLU + 10 PU + 4 SQ (Nov. 30, 2009) Diane: 10:47, with 185lb DLs and kipping HSPU (August 24, 2009) Elizabeth: 12:49 (August 4, 2010) Fran: 4:50 (Sept. 14, 2012) Previous 5:03 (Sept. 10, 2010) GI Jane: 18:25 (Sept. 29, 2009) Helen: 9:24 (Sept. 27, 2010). Previous: 9:42 (Aug. 31, 2009) Isabel: 6:45 (Aug 22, 2012) Previous: 8:16 Jackie: 8:16 (Dec. 12, 2011) Previous: 8:35 Karen: 8:15 (October 22, 2010. ) Previous: 9:55, (June 17, 2009) Kelly Overboard: 33:17 (Dec. 2009) Nancy: 15:47 (Nov. 11, 2009) Rhiannon: 420 (Dec. 30, 2014) Tabata This PLU, PU, SU, SQ: 333 (Dec 10, 2011) Petranek Fitness Test: 4:16(July 22, 2013) Previous 4:23 Filthy 50: 31:33 (July 2, 2012) Previous: 33:14 Fight Gone Bad: 318 (Sept 26, 2009) Previous: 291 (July 18, 2009), 256 (Sept 27, 2008) Bear: 130 lbs. (May 16, 2012) Tiger: 14 rounds + 5 DL + 1 HPC (Oct 20) 400m run: 1:17 (Nov 16, 2009) 800m run: At CrossFit Regina 2:57 (Nov 6, 2009), On puddle-spotted Usher track 2:55 (May 26, 2012) 1km run: 4:01 (Sept. 3 2010) Previous: 4:17 (May 15, 2010 - post-workout) 5km run: 24:55 500m row 137.7 (Oct. 18, 2011) 1km row: 3:30. 2 (Nov. 16, 2010) 100 calorie row for time: 5:34 (Oct. 10, 2015) Consecutive Kipping Pull-ups: 33 (May 4, 2010) Consecutive Deadhang Pull-ups: 16 (Nov. 9, 2013) Consecutive Double Unders: 98(Nov. 5, 2014) CrossFit Total: 705 (Dec. 7, 2009) Bench Press: 190x1 (April 7, 2015) 165 x 3 (Aug. 17, 2012) 155 x 5 (July 12, 2010) Deadlift: 315lbs x 1 (Dec. 7, 2009) 295x5 (Jan. 8, 2013) Power Clean and Jerk: 215lbs (July, 8, 2013) Squat Clean and Jerk: 205lbs (Jan 14, 2013) Power Clean 225 x 1 (Jan. 19, 2013) 205 x 3 (Sept 10, 2012) Hang Power Clean: 175x3, 205x1 (July 5, 2011) Squat Cleans: 185lbs x 3, 205lbs x 1 (June 11, 2012) Power Snatch: 165 (May 26, 2012) Hang Power Snatch: 135lbs x 3, 155lbs x 1 (Oct. 24, 2011) Squat Snatches: 135lbs x 3 (April 23, 2012) 150lbs x 1 (April 23, 2012) Back Squats: 280 x 5 (June 20, 2012), 290 x 3 (March 14, 2012) 300 x 2 (March 6, 2012) 310 x 1 (Oct. 25, 2012) Front Squats: 225 x 5 (Jan 10, 2012) 225 x 3 (May 11, 2011), 255 x 1 (Sept. 12, 2012) Overhead Squats: 165lbs x5 (July 13, 2011) 180lbs x 3 (Feb. 3, 2012), 190lbs x 1 (May 14, 2012) Push Press 190 x 3 (Jan. 8, 2013) 200 x 1 (Jan 16, 2013) Rack Jerks 195 x 2, 215 x 1 (Oct, 2011) Shoulder Press: 135lbs x 1(Nov 4, 2011), 130 x 5 (May 10, 2010) Weighted Pull-ups 55lbs x 2 Total Muscle-Ups (Lifetime): 32 (Most recently: 2 on April 23, 2015.) 30 Muscle-Ups, Vol. 2 Start Date: April 23, 2015

World-Class Fitness in 100 Words:

Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat. Practice and train major lifts: deadlift, clean, squat, presses, C&J, and snatch. Similarly, master the basics of gymnastics: pull-ups, dips, rope climb, push-ups, sit-ups, presses to handstand, pirouettes, flips, splits, and holds. Bike, run, swim, row, etc hard and fast. Five or six days a week mix these elements in as many combinations and patterns as creativity will allow. Routine is the enemy. Keep workouts short and intense. Regularly learn and play new sports.

-From, The CrossFit Journal 2002